Birds
by everwhite
Summary: Life hasn't gotten easier after Dark and Krad's disappearance. They've left somewhat of a mess behind. So what becomes of Risa? Does Satoshi change in any way? An exploration of 'what might,' set after the anime. sxr
1. Default Chapter

A.N: set after the anime. S x R!

Disclaimer: I have to share Satoshi with thousands of other fangirls.

**Birds**

**CHAPTER 1**

**Groggily, She thought.**

It was morning already. Eyes screwed shut, Risa reached out to silence her alarm clock. Her arm returned to the comfort and warmth of her sheets. Two birds outside chirped loudly to one another, and another pecked at her window. Tap Tap Tap... Damn, those creatures were annoying. What were they doing so early in the morning anyway? Risa was not a morning person. The fact that she had slept at 3:00 last night didn't help her situation at all. She was in bed at 12:00, but thoughts about a certain purple haired, drop dead gorgeous thief with black wings, plus the heat of the night, kept her tossing and turning for three hours.

"Maybe both of us have the fate of having a one sided love with him," Risa recalled herself saying to Hiwatari-kun on that fateful night down in a wet well in Azumano Rugaru Museum.

"Perhaps you're right." he admitted in that soft, gentle tone of his'.

Dark disappeared like he did 50 years ago. Have she ever truly loved him? She suppose she did, even with her silly fantasies back then. What a self-absorbed, rude and immature schoolgirl she must have been! How that must have clashed with her "physically attractive exterior". (quoting Satoshi) Dark's disappearance really shouldn't have hurt that much. It shouldn't fill her heart with loneliness, and dread to learn that she will never see him again. It shouldn't fill nights with tears, and thoughts of despondency. The pain was slowly ebbing away. It's time for her to crawl out of that hole of self depreciation.

Her second alarm clock went off.

"Why do you have two clocks?" somebody had asked.

For mornings like this. Her arm rose lazily, hovered in the air before crashing down on the second machine. If she didn't get up soon, she would be late for school, but it was painful to be walking around in this ungodly hour. Her head hurt, her eyes hurt and her limbs refused to move.

Thirty minutes later, she found herself running down the hallway, lunchbag in hand.

She was late once again.

"Give me a hand, Risa!" Saehara said in lunch break.

"Does it look like I have a hand?" she retorted.

It was true. She had an armful of art supplies. Ignoring Saehara's foul mouth, she continued her trek down the school yard. Her hair whipped around her face inconveniently in the wind. Through her tresses, she spotted Hiwatari-kun in the distance, staring at a tree. Curious, she walked quietly up to his back. He finally turned around to face her, looking a bit surprised.

A moment of silence ensued as the two stared at the moving branches.

"Hey. What are you thinking?" she started.

"Nothing much.""Right." she said. "...and I stare at trees all the time for fun", she continued in her head.

"Nothing new anyway." He pushed up his glasses. "Do you need help with those?" he said, referring to the armload of supplies.

"It would be appreciated." she said, handing him an easle, and a bag of brushes.

"Do you like art, Harada-san?"

"I do, but I am horrible at drawing." They stopped for no reason to stare at yet another tree.

"How horrible can it be? I'll have to see your artwork to see for myself."

Risa smiled. They continued their slow walk across the schoolyard to the art room. Along the way, about a million thoughts coursed through Risa's head. This was the first proper conversation she'd had with Hiwatari-kun. When did he start talking so much, or about anything non-technical, for that matter? She chuckled a bit, recalling the time when he asked her out so that he could study her looks for his "investigation." After unloading the supplies, Satoshi checked his watch.

"We should head back now to avoid being late."

Nothing else special happened that day. Shikijou sensei announced that there will be a math quiz in two days, which Risa failed to hear because she was in the washroom.

Night again. Dreaded night. She needed the sleep, but tonight, her mind was not only invaded with the winged thief but also memories of a certain blue haired genius. Risa gave up tossing and turning, and rolled out of bed to stare out her window. The familiar sky made her feel secure, yet small.

"Dark." she declared. "I have decided to stop thinking about you. It's totally unhealthy and it's just plain silly. I'll be senile the next time you come back." She nodded to convince herself.

"Oh how I miss that shadow across the night sky."

Pause.

"Stop it, Risa!" she snapped at herself. "You're doing it again! Now go to sleep." She climbed back into bed obediently. Her thoughts suddenly turned to Satoshi and the "incident" on the ferry. She really had to admit to herself, he looked cute with his sleepy head lolled onto her shoulder.

"And I thought you weren't interested in people with glasses!" she taunted herself.

"And who said I liked him!"

"Oh come on...look at those eyes!"

"Now that you mention it, he really does have beautiful eyes. Deep and blue, like the sea." sigh

The first alarm clock buzzed. It was silenced, then thrown across the room. The second buzzed as well, and it received the same treatment. The birds outside made hoarse sounding noises, hurting her peace.

"Risa! You're going to be late!" Riku's yell was incorporated into her dream. Five minutes later, Risa found the strength to roll out of bed, and found herself victim to a splitting headache.

Lunch rolled around eventually, after enduring a session of lame jokes and a lecture on cosine ratios and how they're important in life. Teachers these days. Thought they could make things interesting with jokes and life lessons. English was even worse. They studied Macbeth and analyzed the significance of Lady Macbeth's sleepwalking. It's not significant. It's just downright creepy. Imagine yourself walking around at night asleep, and washing your hands. Risa shivered at the thought of wandering onto her balcony at night. Or what if you lived near a graveyard? You could be sleepwalking into the rows of gray gravestones, trip over a root, and then wake up. Macbeth indeed. Woe to her who has to study Shakespeare and his funny language. Anyhow, her stomach is in dire need of substance as it has been empty since last night's dinner. There was no time to eat breakfast or pack a lunch, her wallet was empty and Riku was nowhere to be found.

"Be strong." she told herself, "You'll pull through this _amazing _day."

"Ugh. Who am I kidding. What a cruddy day." The pounding in her head did not abate, and her stomach was making embarrassing noises.

"Where are my friends when I need them? I feel like such a loser." Looking around, she spotted Satoshi at the base of a tree. Should she, or should she not? That is the question. Oops, that was Hamlet. Oh, what a _coward_ she was! It's _just_ Satoshi. She screwed her courage to the sticking place, and walked towards him with a slight bounce.

"So. What are you thinking of now?" she plunked herself down next to him. The tree was wide enough for her to lean against it and still be beside him.

"You look tired." he replied, completely ignoring her inquiry. How rude! He will pay someday for not knowing how to treat a lady!

He continued, "It's scientifically proven that a lack of sleep causes idiosyncrasy and a decrease in brain function."

Idiosyncrasy? Whatever that means, it can't be positive. Risa imagined her family doctor saying in a solemn tone, "You have idiosyncrasy. I'm sorry." She's going to have to change her sleeping habits.

Risa narrowed her eyes, "Yeah, yeah. I didn't need you to tell me that. How was your day? Hopefully not crappy like mine."

"Like usual. Doing and thinking the usual." And what would that be?

"You know, it's _scientifically proven_ that thinking about the same subject every day is unhealthy." More like 'personally proven.' It got her four hours of sleep last night. A cool breeze characteristic of tree shades rippled the grass beneath their feet. They say breezes are the coolest under a shade. That's somewhat true. The weather was really nice today. Too bad she wasn't in Macbeth's world, and there was no such thing as pathetic fallacy. Ugh, why are all these English literary terms popping out of nowhere?

"I'm pretty sure you know what I mean." she said, knowing a bit about Satoshi's past.

He turned to stare at her, his brilliant eyes locked onto hers, and she suddenly felt self-conscious.

"Uh...um, I mean, we should let go of certain things, and stop wondering about..." she stammered, picking at imaginary lint, and feeling her face heating up.

"Harada-san?" Oh no. The grass was moving in circles, the school was fuzzy and her head felt like it was pounded by hammers.

"Are you alright?"

"Huhh, I'm fine." she heard herself say before slumping against a shoulder.

A.N. Eh? I'm sorry! I know the whole fainting thing has been done before, and many times in D.N.Angel, but I just couldn't resist. Besides, someone will have to carry her back, and sap factor would increase. OoPs! I gave it away. I was going to make Hiwatari a landing pad (think Daisuke and Riku...If Riku gets a personal landing pad, why not Risa?) but they were sitting, so oh well. Slumping against a shoulder will do.


	2. Consciously, she thinks some more

**Chapter 2**

**Consciously, she thinks some more**

Voices. More voices. She took a moment to regain full consciousness and interpret what was happening. Where was she? She must be on a bed at the school infirmary. Why? The events of the afternoon replayed itself in her head, and the pieces clicked into place. She cracked open an eye.

"Riku?"

"Risa! What happened?"

"I didn't eat, and fainted."

"Why didn't you eat?"

"I didn't feel like it." she lied. 

A flock of girls suddenly appeared around the bed. Risa sat up, wondering why they were all here. She wasn't _that_ popular, was she?

"Risa! How did it feel?" What feels like what? The process of having a crappy day?

She must have looked confused because another girl sighed, "If you had even been semi-conscious, it would have been something out of a fairy tale!"

More collective sighs. "I'm so jealous!" somebody said.

Risa cringed. They sounded so much like her gushing over Dark. Wait. Gushing??

"Over who?" she said out loud.

"Over who?" Makoto-chan said. "You're unbelievable, Risa. Don't you even _know_? Hiwatari-kun carried you bridle style all the way in here."

Hiwatari did? Oh God. No way. The rumours, the girls, the school. The blood drained from her face, and she was on the brink of another migraine. She blinked long and hard to clear her head.

"Risa, you sure you don't want to get some rest? You don't look too well."

"I'm fine" she said half-heartedly.

"Hope you feel better. Bye Risa!" the girls said and left.

How will she deal with Hiwatari-kun after this? What should she say to him after putting him through all that? And what do the girls think of me now? 

Ugh. Grow up, Risa. Who cares about what anyone else thinks? They can think whatever they want. Just act normal. Say thank you, apologize for the inconvenience and then talk about something. Yes. That's exactly what she'll do the next time she sees him. A plate of ramen and a strawberry milkshake was placed at her bedside. Oh, the ever so thoughtful Riku. She dug into the food greedily until a male voice called out,

"Enjoying yourself?"

Hi-Hi-Hiwatari-kun?!

"Ehh?!" she swallowed. "Hiwatari-kun? Umâ€I want to thank you and apologize for the trouble I've put you through."

He waved his hand dismissively. "Get better, Harada-san. Get some sleep." he winked. She felt blood rise to her cheeks.

"I know. I sleep so late I have a hard time waking up."

"Me too. Mornings are always the worse for me." He sat on a stool next to the bed.

"Did you eat yet? I never see you eat lunch." Risa said. Hiwatari being there didn't feel awkward at all, like she thought it would be. His presence was rather comforting.

"No. I never eat lunch."

"Why not?" 

"Too much of a hassle to make."

An idea formed in her head. With her newfound cooking skills, she could find a way to repay him. Satoshi eventually returned to class, whereas Risa remained in bed, not looking forward to a math lecture on tangent ratios and their significance to her daily life. Besides, she needed some time to think.

What else can she offer him? There lies a strange desire in her heart to make him happy. He was rich, independent and intelligent. He certainly didn't need help in schoolwork, or finances. Come on, think, Risa. He's human, and every person needed something.

Friendship. Of course! Why didn't she think of that earlier? Sure, people admired him, but from a distance. Did they try to talk to him, understand him, or care about him? That was her mistake with Dark. She admired him, but everything she did led to her own selfish desires. In a way, she was using Dark. Satoshi too, was human, and like her, needed companionship.

Excellent. Mission be-friends-with-Hiwatari-kun under way!

That night, Risa slept soundly and early, with her daily thinking routine done in the infirmary, and a goal to wake up to prepare lunch in mind.

_Morning 7:00:_

Risa's eyes snapped open at the same time her alarm clock was silenced. Two happy birds chirped away to one another in a deep, heartfelt conversation. Such lovely creatures. This is going to be a good day.

Humming to herself, she flipped open her closet, revealing rows of pretty dresses with their elaborate frills and laces. Her hand skipped over them and she picked out the school uniform a red and white thing. Rather plain compared to everything else in her wardrobe. What shall I make for lunch today? Chicken omlette? A bento? Ramen? When her mental list of foods got down to riceballs, her second alarm clock went off. Risa couldn't believe that she slept through the precious 10 minutes in between alarm clock buzzes each day, where she was able to get changed and decide on food.

"Four fresh eggrolls" coming up! she said happily to herself. Riku sat at the breakfast table groggily and shot her a weird look.

"What? Never seen a girl make eggrolls before?"

"I hope you're feeling okay." Riku replied. "How much did you study for the math test?"

Risa froze, and her head slowly swiveled around as the implications of Riku's question dawned on her.

"Eh?" she squeaked.

"Don't tell me you didn't know? Um, your egg's done."

"No" came Risa's weak reply. "I never heard Shikijou sensei." Half-heartedly, she rolled the egg into a lunchbox. Test? Why wasn't she informed? There was no way she'd pass without studying. She's been fainting all over the place, getting hungry spells and daydreaming through sin and tangents that week. Math was 2nd period so there wasn't even enough time to cram-study. This was not good. Not good at all.

A.N First of all, I want to thank everyone who has reviewed. I was surprised that I even got reviews for this. Secondly, I need to apologize for the length of the second chapter. It must be a bit disappointing. I had more, but my computer crashed and I lost a lot of data. I didn't want to keep anyone waiting, so I thought I'd post this for now. But the fact that I've finished a full version of chapter two means that the ideas are still fresh in my head, which means quicker posting of "third" chapter!


	3. Lonely

A.N I'm stranded in university until Saturday, and I remember leaving my fiction journal at home. cries I really wanted to continue this sooner, and not keep everyone waiting. I hope this chappie doesn't turn out too shabby.

**Chapter 3a: Lone****ly **

She had to be brave. She had to be. She will not be defeated by a mere math test. It was a stupid, idiotic, big, fat test that had nothing to do with her future. Still, why was it so hard? She looked around her. It was like watching a black and white video in slow motion. Feet all around, walking in tandem, their voices but a blur over her thoughts.

It was her fault after all. If she had paid attention, if she had slept and stopped thinking about Dark, if she had done her work like normal students, none of this would have happened. She was growing up after all. Consequences are a part of life. She would have to learn how to deal. She'll learn from her mistakes.

Don't cry...don't cry...don't break down into a ball of self-pity...she repeated to herself. I used to cry in public, but now I don't, because I'm strong. Yes indeed.

....blink...

Risa let a single tear out when nobody was in sight. She sat in the corner of the stony steps at the side of her school. What a failure she was. Honestly. She sobbed loudly. A few minutes later, she looked up and watched the birds. Their lives were so simple. All they do is be born, get fed, grow up and have little birds of their own...then die, returning to the ground. Just like humans, she added as an afterthought. Ugh, how depressing. Why was she thinking about this? She must be going insane.

"I wonder if they're happy." She said out loud to nobody. A red bird took off, soaring over tall buildings, its small, flapping form becoming a pinpoint in the sky. The branch it was just on quivered. It looked happy enough. Risa wished she could also take off into the sky too.

_I wonder if "he's" happy_. For some reason, she'd hoped that "he" would come out of nowhere to talk to her. She needed to talk to someone. 

Risa sniffed. No, he's probably by that darned tree again, staring blankly up into the branches.

Weakly, she pulled an eggroll from her bag and started chewing. It would have been nice if she could share it with someone.

In a state of dazedness, Risa trudged through the rest of the day. Homework for the day was to write a poem. Gawd, how she hated poems. They make absolutely no sense at all. There's supposed to be something profoundly deep and meaningful about them. Whatever the teacher says.

Roses are smelly, violets are yucky, I wish I could write that English is sucky.

Metaphors are crap, and similies too, everyone just say 'Boo.'

Yeah, right. Riku was actually good at poems. She had a knack for randomly selecting a bunch of nice sounding words and throwing them into the same sentence. Speaking of Riku, where the heck was she? Risa needed to talk, and she needed help with homework! Now, preferably.

Okay, calm down, she told herself. Riku was probably at track and field practice. She shouldn't get angry at something so trivial. Back to the poem... she HAD to get this done or she'll _really_ be behind. She tapped her pen against the table, hoping that it will help the creative juices flowing. Think, think, think... 

......5 minutes later.....

Risa lay down her head on her desk and fell into a dreamless sleep.

A.N Yess! It's me again! Don't you just love incessant author notes? Sorry about the length (again!) but it was a good place to end off a chapter where nothing happens. hugs Thank you So much for reviewing! I get so happy just off of reviews. So please keep them coming!


	4. Encounter

Chapter 3b:

The poem unraveled in her head. Yes, yes. It was appropriate, and it didn't sound too corny. She scribbled it down 7:00 in the morning amidst the happy birds outside.

Risa handed in her poem and sat back down in her seat. The math test came back to her last period, and not surprisingly, she achieved a grand total of 10 out of 100, written in accusing red ink. She thought she was over the test. She had moped over it enough yesterday. Still, she couldn't help wandering off by herself again to that forsaken little corner of the school. Back on the stony steps she went, and back to watching the birds.

But today, she heard footsteps behind her. Who could be following her? She hoped that it was Satoshi. She sincerely hoped that it was him. She didn't want him to see her in such a state, but she still wanted to see him.

The footsteps stopped.

"I failed the test." she offered to whoever it was. They were waiting for her to explain why she was here, of course.

"I know how it feels." the voice said.

She almost smiled at the sound of his voice. She loved his voice.

Without missing a beat, she said, "You get perfect on everything. How would you know?"

"I thought about what you said." Thought about what? What the heck was he talking about?

"What did I say?"

"...thinking about _it_ everyday."

"What would that be?"

"The consequences of success and failure." Um, and what would that be?

"As I _said, _you've never failed—"Risa stopped mid-sentence for some reason and turned to his intense stare.

Out of the blue, a white piece of paper slipped out of Satoshi's bag and landed face down on the cement steps. Risa plucked it off the ground and turned it around. She gasped in surprise. It was a watercolour drawing of two birds. Two happy little birds flitting about in the foliage. Each feather was well-defined, and the detail was overwhelming. A mysterious glow emanated from the drawing. She was instantly drawn to it. And Risa was struck speechless.

"... Hiwatari-kun ... this is ... amazing. Did you draw this?"

"Yeah. Don't these birds remind you of something? I thought of you yesterday when I drew it."

Risa shot him a questioning look.

He simply shrugged and walked off.

Talk about rudeness! Risa fumed in her head. But still, she felt a bit more cheerful after their encounter.

School was finally over. Each class dragged on forever. But she forced herself to pay attention, and take good notes. It was the least she could do to compensate for her last screw up. As she walked out the main door of her school, the last thing she would have expected was Satoshi, in all his cool and collected glory, standing at the base of a tree, boring holes into her. He waved her over.

She had no choice but to comply.

"I was thinking," he said slowly, as if he was carefully selecting his words, "if you wanted some help in math." "To catch up, I mean." he added.

Risa blinked at him. And she blinked some more before the implications his words caught up to her.

"Umm..." she stammered, "that sounds great, Hiwatari-kun. I...I would love that so much!"

His expression was still as unreadable as ever, but his eyes softened. "Then I'll meet you tomorrow after school here."

"Thank you for being so kind. Oh! I almost forgot, you left me with your drawing." Risa fumbled around in her backpack for it.He grabbed her arm to stop her. "You can have it." he stated, and once again, walked away. She stared after him. She must be dreaming. There was no way Satoshi would ever, ever, in a million years, offer to help _her_ in something as trivial as _math_. In addition, he _touched_ her.

Oh wake up wake up, Risa! This wasn't really happening, was it? She yanked her own hair.  
"Ow!" There was no doubt about it. She was awake.

Risa smiled uncontrollably all through dinner, all through her bubble bath, and all through brushing her teeth.

Riku pulled her aside. "Risa, what the heck's wrong with you?"

"What, never seen a girl happy?"

"But you've had that silly smile plastered on your face for the entire day! That's definitely NOT normal! And especially after getting 10 on your math test!" Riku expected the smile to turn upside down after that comment.

Instead, Risa's smile turned into a grin. "It's a secret," she said cryptically.

Riku rolled her eyes.

All throughout the day, she reveled in the thought of him just reaching out to grab her. Such a simple gesture, but it felt like a milestone. Like she's accomplished something. Satoshi had trusted her enough to touch her. Risa felt giddy. The feeling was not unlike what she felt a year ago for Dark. But underneath these shallow hormonal-surged emotions, there was something firm and very real there. That was the difference. She knew that, without a doubt, she cared deeply for this boy. And most of all, she wanted him to be happy. Her spirits were again lifted, just by that thought.

A.N: This was super corny! And super schoolgirlish! This popped out of nowhere. I swear, it wasn't written down in my plot outline. Um, but at least all of chapter 3 is out. This will be longer than the intended 4 chapters now. There are the poems, the "tutoring" from Satoshi, and of course, more sap I have to deal with!


	5. Birds

Chapter 4a: Birds

"The ebullient skylark

winged with hopes and aspirations

her song dripping sweet of new life

merrily sitting on the dewed branch

round and round she flew."

"Perched mightily on a high branch

A mass of blue feathers did

Its icy stare not wavering,

Full of solitude its eyes

A lone speck of blue high in a branch

Lets fly there".

'Congratulations to the two students in this class who wrote these! I'm amazed at the common theme. I won't say who it is to protect their privacy though. Well done." Shikijou Sensei said.

Risa looked straight ahead. She didn't dare glance at Satoshi. One of the poems was hers. Could it be ...? Her poem was so obvious. She wondered if he could tell. Her face felt flamingly hot all of a sudden.

"Miss!" she said. "Can I go to the washroom?"

Risa dashed down the hall to the washroom. It was one of her favourite hanging places. It sounded so silly, but it was a place where she could go to be alone and collect her thoughts. The white toilet bowl looked so welcoming and the tiny space of the stall felt cozy.

"What am I doing here?" she thought, "Who cares about the lousy poems! That other one was probably written by someone other than him anyway. It was probably written by Saehara, or even Daisuke. Yeah, it must be Daisuke. It sounds like him. The words were so poetic and artsy, and Daisuke was an artist. Oh wait, so was Satoshi.

Nevermind. She had better be getting back or people will think she was number two-ing.

"Okay Risa! Let's do this! Go back to English class." She should really stop talking to herself so much. People would think she was nuts.

!#$&()(&$###!#$()(&#($&$!$!#)!($!&#(!&#($&!&

The time came eventually. The time when she would meet him at that tree. And meet him she did. He was there, that arrogant flash of blue under the green foliage. His eyes locked onto hers as soon as she walked out the wooden doors. Again, she was captured, and drawn towards him.

"My house or yours?"

Risa thought about it. What would Riku say if she brought Satoshi in? She imagined the scene of Riku walking in from a day of school, and seeing him there beside Risa.

"Yours." Besides, she wanted to see his house. They walked together down the road in the breeze of the day. The falling maple leaves fluttered around, dots of red in the blue sky. Risa felt so calm. The butterflies in her stomach stopped flapping around, and she was able to watch the scenery. A couple sat together on a bench on the other side of the road. Her heart thumped. If only ... She dared to peek at him from her curtain of hair.

"This is it." His voice broke her train of thoughts.

There were no flowers on the lawn, the grass was not as green as it should be, and the stone steps leading to the door was disarrayed. Risa stepped in to the house. The house was in a similar state, not surprisingly.

Seeing Risa's look of shock, Satoshi said, "It is kind of messy I know." Something sad flashed in Risa's eyes. "Want something to drink?"

"Tea please."

She sat down on a chair in front of a desk. There were papers strewn everywhere. Looking closer, she saw that they were reports and documents related to the police, and Dark's name was slathered across some of them. Her hand rose to her mouth.

Soft footsteps were heard from behind her. She straightened herself up and pretended to dig through her backpack for math. Satoshi removed all the papers from his desk and dumped them into a trash can.

"Hiwatari-kun...what are you doing? Aren't those important?"

"No." he said curtly. She continued to look at him, so he continued, "I've thought about what you said."

"About what? Didn't we have this conversion before?"

"Yes. So let's get started. Here's your tea."

"Thanks." She cupped her hands around the mug, and sipped the liquid, but promptly drew back. "It's hot!" She stuck out her tongue and scowled. Satoshi chuckled softly at her sudden reaction. Risa smiled inwardly. She made him smile at her. Playfully, she tried to swipe him, but he dodged easily.

"Hey, how come you're helping me? Did I ask you this before?"

"I want to return the favour, and no, you haven't asked me." Favour for what? And why does he make it sound like he was doing it just to repay her, and not for the sake of helping her? She thought, slightly annoyed, but didn't press on for more information. He can tell her the truth whenever he feels like it. Oh, so now she's assuming that he's lying.

Risa pointed to her math textbook, and opened her mouth to ask a question when the lights suddenly died and darkness enshrouded the two figures. Risa blinked across the void of darkness where she knew Satoshi would be.

A power failure, huh?

AN: Another short half-chapter. Thanks to everyone who's reviewed! hugs

To Blushing Sigh: I made you giggle? How?

Sammi Chan: I'm glad that it's going to be longer, too.

Aprillis: I feel so honoured that you think I'm a good RxS writer! Thank you so much!

Crimson-Eyed-Angel99: Thanks for your support!

MeDarkNeutralLight: I promise never to abandon this fic. I'll be sure to finish it.

Knight Basilisk: hehe, next chapter will be even more sappy! Oh gawd, somebody's going to get cavities.

Dnangelgirl: Where's your sxr fic? I wanna read it!


	6. Math over Dinner

AN: short chapter, but technically, it's not a chapter. It's a HALF chapter.

...pause...

(ducks from flying fruits) Don't hurt me!

Birds 4b: Math and Dinner (the other half of chapter 4)

Risa shivered. When did it get so cold? She wanted warmth but but but... it would be just soo weird if she clung onto Satoshi. What a weird thought. OR, she could FALL into his arms by pretending to trip over something. No, that's such a girly and overused move. Besides, she's tried that once, and ended up falling on the ground and hurting her butt. The guy of interest noticed her on the ground a minute later, right after he was finished talking to another girl. And it was really dark, so she would probably fall in the wrong place and end up hurting herself again. Anyway, it would make her seem desperate. It's better just to keep the distance, and pretend that she wasn't having all these weird thoughts.

"I'll get a flashlight." He voice cut through the darkness.

"Wait, I'll come with you." Risa said, not wanting to be left alone, shivering and jumping at every noise. She hated the dark. It was so cold and scary. Ugly things could just materialize from the dark and pull her into their realm. Her hand quickly reached out to grab Satoshi's arm as an act of instinct, but she drew in a fistful of cloth instead. 

Satoshi felt himself yanked forward. He stumbled forward and felt for the wall with his hands. He found the wall, but also found that he was touching hair as well. If it wasn't pitch dark, he would have looked bewildered.

Risa blinked madly as her eyes adjusted to the dark. A sliver of moonlight suddenly slipped through a crack in the curtain. She just realized that her back was against the wall, he...and he was leaning over her.

Oh. My. Gawd.

Magically, and somehow, the curtain fell back down, and all was dark again. What was she supposed to do now? Push him away? Yell "pervert!" and run blindly in the dark? Draw him closer? (Where did that just come from...) Thinking was doing _her_ a lot; they were still stuck in that position.

Risa's thoughts were spaghetti, but they were soon broken by Satoshi muttering something.

"Krad...really gone ..." he muttered.

Who? Did he just say Krad? Five seconds later, the name "Krad" clicked inside of Risa's mind. She remembered _him_ alright. Involuntarily, she shivered again. That freaky, blonde, white-winged ... no, white wings are cool, scratch that...evil Dark imposter who had this sick polite way of talking... Ah, but did Hiwatari-kun just say that he was really gone?

And at this precise moment, the power decided to come back.

The phone also decided to ring.

Satoshi removed himself from the wall and walked over to the phone, looking cool as a cucumber, as if pinning girls up the wall were normal. Risa looked quite stunned but eventually peeled herself from the wall.

"Hello?......Niwa-kun? Yeah, she's here. Yeah." He held his hand over the receiver and said without looking at Risa, "Your sister is looking for you."

How the heck did Riku think to call Hiwatari-kun? And she got Daisuke to do the dirty work for her too! Oh but was it all that surprising that she knew who to call? I mean, she did walk with him down the road to his place in full view. She was just so absorbed that she didn't look at the people around her.

Risa took the receiver from Satoshi, her eyes shyly flitting upwards, hoping to meet his eyes, but she miscalculated, and got a nice view of his hair instead.

"Hellooo?" she sang into the receiver, "Ah Niwa-kun...tell Riku that I'm doing math."

A pause.

"Ehhhhh?! No! Tell her I'll be back by dinner. ... Bye."

Risa hmphed a little, flipped her hair, and plunked herself down on a nearby chair.

"What did he say?" Satoshi tried to resist the urge of asking, but it spilt out anyways.

"Oh nothing important." She said indifferently, "anyway, now that's settled, can you explain the difference between sine and cos functions to me?"

So the two figures sat at a table void of Dark-related material, and did math. Math really was a pleasant thing when a certain person taught it to you.

(divider)

Risa arrived home just in time for dinner.

"How was "math"? Pass the peas please!" Riku chirped, the quotations around "math" evident in her voice.

"What do you mean 'how was "math"?' Risa shot back, but her mouth was full of rice so she didn't get the full effect.

Riku broke out into a sly grin. "You know. Like "math"."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Give me back my peas."

"Oh Risa. Don't play dumb with me! How was it! Details, details! I want it all! It's written all over your face!"

"You're acting very unRiku-like. Did you forget to take your medication this morning? Give me the peas." "Oh, and how was Daisuke?" she added as an afterthought.

Riku grinned again, "So you're implying that you know what I'm talking about! See how Daisuke correlates with "math"? Pun not intended!"

"I ain't implying nothing. That's a horrible pun by the way." Risa said, realizing her fatal mistake of asking about Daisuke. "Eat your food. It's impolite to talk with your mouth full."

"Come on, Risa. Just tell me. I know what's going through that thick head of yours."

"Nothing's going through my head."

Riku started to laugh. "Oh, listen to yourself: Nothing's going through my head!"

Risa scowled. Her head really was in a mess right now. Her words weren't coming out right.

"I don't like him more than a friend if that's the answer you were looking for."

Risa felt empty and cold all of a sudden. Did she just say she didn't like him? But the words were in the air, and she had no way of taking them back. 

AN: See? A longer chapter! I'm so proud of myself for getting in more than 1000 words! Sorry about the shortness from before; I had a major case of writer's block, but I really really wanted to continue the story. Anyone think that this is dragging? As in, not much of a plot?

I just realized a huge plothole! I alluded to the fact that it was bright outside when they came into the house, and now it's supposedly dark and there's moonlight. OOPS.


	7. Falling Apart

AN: Please bear with the introspection in the beginning of this chapter. I know it's a tad wordy, but I thought it was really necessary. By now, Risa would have begun to think about their relationship. Hope you like the twist at the end!

Chapter 5: Falling Apart

The daunting mass that was Risa's math textbook stared at her. She stared back, but lost the battle. Her hands rose to her head to rub at her temples. She couldn't concentrate because math reminded her of Satoshi. And Satoshi was inevitably linked to emotions. And emotions caused her to think, and she didn't have enough brainpower left to do math.

She wanted… no _needed_ to tell him something. Some earth-shattering, tremendous truth that would sum it all up. What would that be? Risa was so confused. So much had happened so far, but then again, nothing really did happen.

There was no question to whether she cared deeply for him or not. That was clear at least. There was a period of time where she thought she was subconsciously replacing him for Dark. Now, she was sure that it wasn't. This was very real. The only complication was…she couldn't seem to understand what was preventing her from actively pursuing him, or even take a more active stance in the "relationship." It was he who asked her if she needed help. It was he who offered to help. It was he who invited her into his house. He trusted her to some extent.

And what did she do?

She tagged along like a puppy, and made no indication to him whether she wanted to be more than friends or not. Could it be fear? Could it be fear of rejection? Fear that he would disappear and leave her all alone in the cold with a gaping void in her heart?

Yes, yes it was. No matter how hard she could try to deny it, it was all because of Dark. Oh no, she wasn't blaming Dark at all. Dark could not have prevented his own sealing. It was the circumstances. The cruel twist fate decided to play in the game of love.

She opened the textbook, and read the first question.

Back to Satoshi—she must not digress. Logically, could or would he ever disappear? First, he's a human (hopefully, that is…), so technically, he doesn't need to be sealed up in some work of art. It's hard to imagine him ever leaving the area anyway. He's always been this ever-present presence. He's been there for a very long time. In fact, he's always been there every single day, rarely ever missing class. She's been accustomed to his throwing icy looks this way and that, the myriad of fangirls, and his unnerving, famous intelligence. Dark isn't here for him to chase around, so there's more reason for him to stay in school and live a normal life.

She read the first math question again.

Ah, speaking of questions, she should move on in her personal debate to the next question burning in her mind. Would he even _like _her as more than a friend? That's a hard one. What kind of actions and words hint at this? Mentally, she flipped through their encounters in the past month. As hard as she tried, Risa could not find one single action or word that was indicative of him wanting to be more than friends. His actions were comparable to Daisuke's. But then again, this _is _Satoshi we are talking about here. This boy's…different.

Risa read the first question again, then realized that she's read it three times already. Oh, math was hell…

There's no way to know whether Satoshi liked her or not unless Risa tested it out herself. She needed to ask him, straight out. It was, she convinced herself, the only clear and precise way of drawing a straight and clear answer out of him. Hopefully, he would not be offended.

With that settled, Risa was able to finish the rest of her math homework. She looked fiercely at the textbook giving her best 'Thou shalt haunt me no longer!' stare.

(divider)

The air was crisp and thin when she woke up in the morning. It was cold—colder than usual. In addition to this, a heavy fog hung over the entire town. It wasn't surprising considering that she did live beside a large body of water. Risa disliked fog nearly as much as she disliked darkness. Not being able to see the road in front of you was unnerving.

She had donned a brown scarf dotted with pink flowers in addition to her usual outfit. It was not very soon until the end of the day came. It wasn't very hard to find Satoshi.

Somehow, they were together in an empty room. She couldn't remember how it happened. It was just them two, with nobody else in sight. Nobody to judge her. There was Satoshi, who was casually leaned against a cabinet, one foot bent. They were talking about something. It was nothing of importance.

Ready Risa?, she had thought, 1, 2, 3…

"Did…did… you have breakfast today?" she began, slowly realizing that it was an extremely silly and trivial question to ask just out of the blue.

He cocked his head sideways, perhaps a little surprised at such a question, and said, "Yes."

Risa was ready this time. Without missing a beat, she said, "Who am I to you?"

Only when it came out, sounded…wrong. Nonetheless, Risa was not prepared for what happened next.

Satoshi stiffened, and his eyes looked blank. "Who you are to me? You are _nothing_." It slipped out thoughtlessly, almost like an instinct. He'd said it before once. Oh maybe a few times. He could almost feel the frigid hands invade his personal space, and the sinister whisper….

He could barely see the expression on Risa's face change from shock to horror.

(divider)

Risa blinked. She didn't think it would hit a nerve, and she especially did not expect to hear that loathing tone of voice. Like it was _her _who did something unforgivable to him. Like she had no right to ask such a question. This voice was cruel, like the edge of a razor blade, completely different than the gentle, soothing voice she had been wanting to hear.

Unable to contain herself, she blurted, "I just asked you a _question_! You didn't have to be so … oh never mind. Forget it."

She spun on her heels, marched out the door and mustered up all her strength to slam the door. Only, the door gently and politely closed and clicked into place for it was one of those piston-oil-pressure doors, adding to the insult. She thought she heard him call her, but she at this point, she cared for nothing.

(divider)

Something was hurting. Something so familiar that she didn't know what it was. Her pace quickened. Anything, anything to get away. Just keep moving forward… forward. She was going to be upset if she thought about anything. Numbly, she tried to will her mind into a state of blankness.

Only, it wasn't working. The incident replayed in her mind.

_He doesn't care for you. He doesn't like you. He probably hates you now. Why did you run out? Why are you so silly? Why did you have to say it like that? _

Yes it did sound wrong, but it shouldn't have elicited such a response. She tried to be more active, but it backfired. She shouldn't expect things from anyone in the first place. Some part of her really wanted him to say it to her… that he liked her. And she was hoping for it the entire time.

She walked into the fog, into the frigid coldness that hasn't dissipated since morning. It surrounded her, and she welcomed it. Nobody will see her like this, and she'd rather it stay this way.

(divider)

Satoshi cradled his head in his hands, wishing that he could push back the hands of time for just a minute. In his mind, the familiar scene replayed itself like a nightmare.

"To me, you are my everything." That lithe, smooth voice claimed.

_Don't touch me._

"Who am I to you…?" he continued, "…Satoshi-sama."

_You are a monster, a parasite, epitome of evil. _

"You are nothing."

_And you deserve to be put back into the nothingness—where you belong. _

endchapter>

AN: Yes, I am back again after almost a month of stagnation due to the evils of university. I suppose this story is starting to go somewhere… ahaha, I surprised myself. This chapter was so different than all the other ones. Hope I'm not being incoherent here.


	8. Recapitulation

**A Recapitulation**

AN: I'm not dead yet! Tis been a while, so thank you all for your patience!

A roll of toilet paper fell out of Risa's hands. She sniffed again, and made sure her face did not betray the little cry she just had. That was pathetic. As sensitive as she was, she can't believe she had a cry over _that. _Over _him. _

Well.

It was over. That was to be the end of that. It had proved to be another dead end. Haha, dead end. She laughed bitterly in her head.

(divider)

"I said, what's up with the face."

Riku's voice. It was to be expected. Her sister usually was the first to notice if something's up with her.

"Huh."

The short haired one sighed exasperatedly, and put down her fork. "You know, can you make it anymore obvious? Tell me what's up."

"Nothing." Risa said quickly, out of practice. "I'm just having an off day, ya' know?"

Riku looked skeptical and was glaring at her funny. Risa didn't blame her. She would do the same too.

"Fine fine. Tell you after dinner."

After all, Riku did deserve to know. If she couldn't even trust Riku, how could she trust herself?

(divider)

Dinner was not very satisfying. Risa was hungry, but could not find the energy to get seconds. It's the feeling you get while looking down at airplane food …you're hungry, but the environment and context makes your stomach churn. Not pleasant at all. Plus, she was also tired and sleepy, but sleep was out of the question. There was no way she could sleep with all the emotional buildup. Besides, she had promised to have a heartfelt talk with Riku. So she surrounded herself with cute, fluffy plush and pillows and tried to make herself as comfortable as she could. Riku sat in an inflatable chair on the other side of the room, fiddling with a pen and a notepad.

Wait…a pen and notepad? Risa paled a bit. What was this…an interview? Or worse…a session with a psychologist?

Riku was the first to speak.

"It's about Hiwatari-kun, isn't it?"

Risa coughed.

"Put the pen and notepad away. It's making me nervous."

Riku shot them a nonchalant glance, and ditched them in the nearest drawer.

"Yeah, it's about him. How'd you know?"

"Risa, are you being serious? It's all over the school."

Was it now… How did it escape her notice? Oh my, that cannot be good. _Cannot_.

"Right. Okay…" How should she begin?

Risa closed her eyes and willed the images to reappear in her mind. It was still fresh, and painful in a way.

"It began when I was going through my whole unhappy phase, you know, with Dark leaving, marks dropping…that kind of stuff. I saw Hiwatari-kun staring at trees all lunch, so I decided to talk to him. I don't know what I was thinking. I fainted one day…"

"on him." Riku reminded.

"Yyes. On _him." _She winced a bit._ "_He took me back to school in front of everyone. To be honest, I was both impressed and flattered. He must have had to plow through myriads of people, and endure all the weird stares. Anyway, what next was, I started eating after everyone had left, and yes, he just had to walk in. I remember thinking how at ease we both were in front of each other. And I guess it was that little incident that started the whole mess."

Riku simply nodded. "Tell me about the tutoring. How'd that happen specifically?"

Oh that. Riku has been nagging her ever since it's started. Well, time to spill.

"Remember the morning of the math test?"

"You forgot to study for it. And you were making these disgusting egg rolls."

Risa ignored the comment about her egg rolls. They were edible.

"I failed it, of course. You knew that. So I sat by myself on the cold stone steps, mustering every ounce of energy into feeling sorry for myself, for a few days, secretly hoping that Hiwatari kun would come talk to me. And I saw these birds…"

Riku suddenly interrupted again, "You wrote the poem didn't you?"

Risa felt her insides heat up. "Yes I did. What's funny is…he drew an amazing picture of birds for me."

"Where's it now?"

"Tell you later." Risa shifted herself around and stretched her legs. "K, and Hiwatari-kun, being the observer he was, knew that I failed. So he offered to help."

"He must have really liked you to do that. You know Hiwatari-kun isn't the type of person who'd just go up to anyone and offer to help. I can't even imagine him even initiating any sort of normal conversation."

"Riku, Hiwatari-kun's changed after the _incident _and you know it. He's not the same person anymore."

"And you look like you still care—"

Sadness flickered in Risa's eyes for a second.

"Let me continue."

Riku shut up at the tone of her sister's tone—a tone rarely used unless she was serious.

"I went over to his house. You, who were spying—"

"It was in full view, so I wasn't spying."

"Fine. You, who were watching, knew about it. It started to rain, the electricity went out. Somehow, we tripped over each other and he ended up pinning me against the wall. It was surreal."

Risa paused for a full three seconds.

"And you know what, it was then that I knew that I had truly chosen him. I was doubting and denying it to myself in my head, but deep down, I knew the truth."

Risa looked out the window and at the balcony.

"It's raining." Said Riku.

"Pathetic fallacy." Risa muttered absentmindedly.

"What?"

"Nothing. When you hear the rain, what do you think, Riku?"

"I like rain. It makes the world so fresh."

"Well, I hate rain. It was when Dark… let's not even go into that."

Riku nodded understandably. Rain was like bad luck for Risa or something.

"Anyway, so what happened was, we untangled ourselves when the phone rang all of a sudden."

"Oops, sorry. If I had know you guys were…"

Risa shot her a cut-it-out look.

"Yeah. You know the rest."

"So what made you so upset?"

Risa thought for a long time.

"Riku, have you ever hoped for something so much that it became almost real in your head? The only thing you missed was verification."

Risa continued without waiting for an answer. "That was what happened. But the verification never came. Instead, I got the complete opposite of what I was hoping for. There was nothing I could do."

It wouldn't hurt this much if you had said that you hated me. Indifference is worse. It means that I had zero impact on your life. All I wanted to do is touch your life is some way.

Riku got up wordlessly.

"Life does that doesn't it?" Risa said all of a sudden, her eyes dry. "We have to be strong, ne? Confront our problems?"

Because, if we run away from our problems, it'll just grow bigger, then come and haunt us.

Riku hugged her sister. "You _are_ strong, you know that? …."

"Thank you, Riku." Risa said, "Let's go to sleep now."

(divider)

When Riku was safe in her bed, Risa got up. What she was about to do … was absolutely crazy. She did hear herself say that she had to confront her problems.

What has she got to lose?

(end chapter)

AN:

Birds will end next chapter! I can't express my gratitude enough to the people who have taken the time to review this story. It made me very very happy to know that there are people out there who not only like sxr, but also the way I've depicted them in this story. I realize that I didn't create a perky, happy and impulsive Risa. I made her depressed half the time. Anime characters—especially the happy ones, are often on a permanent sugar high in fanfiction. We know that nobody can be happy all the time.

I thought it was rather challenging to write in just Risa's POV, but I think having Sat's POV would make it very different.

I really want to improve my writing. If you have anything to say about this…suggestions, comments, I would really appreciate it if you could tell me.


	9. Inseparable

AN: Please please please excuse the sap. Anyway, this is the Final Chapter.

**Inseparable**

What has she got to lose?

The sky was dark, but she could make out the silver pinpoints of rain when she looked out from underneath her umbrella. She started at a brisk pace, minding the puddles and the hem of her nightgown, which lay underneath her jacket. But the urgency of the situation pushed her onwards and soon, she was tearing down the sidewalk. .

She had to do this. Make amendments, that is. Even if he didn't share her feelings, she still wanted them to be friendly acquaintances. It would be horrible if they shared nothing but an awkward silence every time they saw each other. It would make her miserable if something like that happened.

When she reached the little stone steps, the same door, the same pathetic patch of grass, she stopped to catch her breath and compose herself. Just as she was about to knock, the door opened. On the other side was a bewildered Satoshi.

"Harada-san!"

"I…"

"What are you doing?"

He pulled her in with one swift movement. "It's raining and it's dark." He stated as a matter of factly.

Risa ignored him and blurted, "I came here to apologize."

Satoshi looked at her, and was suddenly at a lost for words. He didn't know what to feel…ashamed? Guilty?

Risa avoided looking at him and continued to talk. She was gripped with an unknown fear. "I think I've offended you, but… I don't want us to break up as friends."

Then, Risa suddenly wanted to cry, "That's all I wanted to say." Her voice choked a little, and Satoshi felt his heart throb painfully.

Slowly, she turned around.

Satoshi grabbed her arm, an act of instinct.

"Stop it, Risa. You can't..don't run away from me again." He paused. "I am the one who should be apologizing to you. …give me another chance because I… I care about you."

_You can't just leave and come whenever you feel like it. _

"Do you really?"

"Really."

He watched her shed a tear as she nodded and smiled at the same time, understanding and letting his words sink in. A piece of damp hair stuck to the side of her face… She looked vulnerable and open. She looked like she'd gone through a lot…well, she did go through a lot, and he couldn't resist the urge to pull her in his embrace and tell her that it was okay, and that he loved her for being there for him, and for saving him. And he needed to confirm that she was indeed real. That he was truly free from the bonds of the curse. Risa sensed his eyes on her.

He leaned in slowly, as if not to startle her, and meant to give her a short, gentle kiss.

That all changed when he felt her hands snake into his hair.

(divider)

Both felt free, light and giddy inside. There was nothing, nobody stopping him. She finally got a confirmation of what she hoped for.

But neither of them was thinking of these things. Who does when you're with the person you love?

What matters now is that they are together. For neither Dark nor Krad had been able to separate the two.

END.

AN: Does anyone feel like I need to wrap things up better? I know, what a crappyass ending! Tell me, I'll write an epilogue. I can't write sap, I know, but this was the way I had intended to end this from the very beginning. Aaaah, forgive me!

I've begun on another SxR, titled "to not fall in love". It shall be out very shortly. I promise to try my best on this one because I wasn't pleased with Birds at all.

Thank you thank you to everyone who's reviewed my story. It's such an encouragement! And thank you to all who's joined the sxr c2 community. It's you guys who inspire me to write!


End file.
